Ahh… the suble art of not giving a f**k by Mark Manson. A New York Times Best Seller and worldwide sensation with that familiar orange cover that’s caught my eye so frequently on public transport. Readers hunched over, thirsty for some pearls on living a good life. So I decided it was my time to give it a whirl, and I’m glad I have. But one third of the way in, I have some strong feelings. It goes against the grain for me to air the kind of restlessness the author triggers for me, but there’s something that really rubs me the wrong way.

My impression going into the book is that it would give me a sense – with my pedantic, type A (read: anal) personality – of how to let go and become a bit more relaxed about day to day stressors. And whilst the thesis of the book may have the intention to promote this message, the tone lacks the inspirational call to action I was expecting.

The language is instead somewhat authoritarian – I feel weirdly disparaged as a reader. So far, this has reached something of a peak for me when Mark talks about his transgressions as a child and in his early adult years, recounting an incident where he was arrested for possession of drugs at school and later, his draw towards alcohol. It isn’t super clear why this whole narrative is included in my eyes. Should he “not have given at f**k” as a kid? Should he “give less f**ks” as an adult about what he did as a kid?

He also includes a chapter which prattles on about an arrogant fellow who seems to use others to inflate his own ego and discredit any who seem to be competition. Whilst I think the points from this section are valid and could be enlightening for some certain people who like to think of themselves as bigger than others, it falls short in my eyes because:

1. Those people indeed already don’t “give a f**k” and therefore probably haven’t purchased the book
2. Even if they did buy the book, I question whether they would be ready to receive it and
3. I think most people who are drawn to the book very much do “give a f**k”, and are therefore likely to be self-conscious of the perceptions of others

The target audience is missing the message here.

Mark also seems to have a real disdain for affirmations. He echoes a few times (and again, I’m only five chapters in) that no one becomes confident by looking in the mirror and telling themselves to be confident. I’m no psychologist, but I think for those lacking in self esteem sometimes a little pep talk and a little fake it till you make it didn’t kill anyone. And now I want to look up the evidence behind affirmations.

All in all, the book feels to this point like a diary to a former self. A loosely composed, glass half-empty conversation, with the eternal excuse of its thesis. Ultimately, I feel it quashes a little hope in someone who might expect something a little lighthearted given its irreverent title.

It’s a difficult read after enjoying the likes of Brene Brown and Susan Cain and their very academic style of non-fiction. But I will persist. Heck, half the planet seems to enjoy it so let’s see if I can change my mind! More to come.